


All Those Cliches

by penelles (Riachinko)



Category: Family Guy
Genre: Fluff, Implied Relationships, Kinda, M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-15
Updated: 2010-05-15
Packaged: 2018-12-17 20:53:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11859456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riachinko/pseuds/penelles
Summary: Stewie just wants Brian to call more.





	All Those Cliches

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Quagmire's Dad" (8.18), when Stewie kept trying to talk to Brian on the phone. It was cute :3

Stewie found his canine companion sitting at the kitchen table reading the daily paper. With morning well underway, the two were alone, doused in sunlight that streamed through the window over the sink. The warmth in the room pacified his mood, and Stewie found himself at ease, despite his intention to strike up a conversation a long time coming.  
  
He coughed to get the dog's attention, but when it elicited no reaction, Stewie felt his features tighten, frowning and better vocalising an " _ahem_."

"Brian," he tried casually, "why don't you ever call me when you're away?"

Brian looked up over the rim of his glasses, though his expression remained unchanged. "What?"  
  
"I couldn't help but notice that during your recent out-of-town venture, you didn't call me _once_."

Stewie held up his cell phone, pointedly displaying the list of Recent Calls and scrolling through them slowly enough with his finger for Brian to get the point that there was specifically a lack of calls from Brian.

"I wanted to talk to you," he said shyly, adding in a hushed tone, "I...missed you."

Brian shrugged off his friend's concerns with a half-smile and a flippant, "I missed you too."  
  
Silence fell between them as Brian resumed reading his paper. He shuffled the papers about as Stewie stared defiantly. It was obvious that Brian had finished reading the gossip columns and the classifieds and was foolishly pretending to read now to get Stewie to drop the subject. 

" _Well?_ "  
  
"Well...I just didn't, okay?" Brian kept his focus on the paper.  
  
"My goodness," Stewie condescended, "no wonder you're unlucky with the ladies. You're really bad at this relationship stuff, aren't you?" Stewie rested his head in his hands and stared onward.  
  
"That's what you're likening this to?" Brian asked, bemused. He raised the paper slightly to put Stewie out of view.   
  
"What, a 'relationship?'" Stewie scoffed. "Yes, because that's what it is."  
  
Brian just sighed, a long clear sign of annoyance.  
  
"...And no wonder you have to settle for me; no  _woman_  would tolerate your negligence. And I shouldn't even say _that_ either, because my days of tolerating your crap are over as well."

Stewie looked mischievously on through half-lidded eyes, fully aware that he had gotten under Brian's skin. Relationship talk was a sore topic for him, and nobody like loneliness. 

There was more stifling silence as Brian stared at his paper and let the young boy's words sink in. Not even the crinkling of the newspaper pages dared to interrupt them.   
  
"Wait," Brian said at last, "what do you mean by that?"  
  
"I know that despite your continuous shame and embarrassment, that you really do like having me around. In... _that_ way." Stewie coughed. "You know."  
  
Brian's gaze shifted.  
  
"And the reason you haven't called or taken my calls is because you're embarrassed, isn't it? You're in denial, man."  
  
Brian blushed, looking downright ashamed of himself. When the kid was right, he was right; he was a heel.

"I'm sorry, Stewie...You know you mean a lot to me..." He set his paper aside, but couldn't bring himself to attempt a better apology; certainly didn't want to engage in anything resembling affectionate when Lois could walk in. 

"Well!" Stewie beamed, "You're in luck, because I know a way you can make it up to me here and now." He grabbed hold of Brian's right paw and slapped the dog's cell phone into his palm. "Here."

There passed a brief moment where Brian's eyes flashed questioningly between the phone and the boy who had handed it to him. Stewie looked eager and was smirking. Brain never could tell exactly what his counterpart was thinking. 

"Now call me," Stewie readied his own phone.  
  
Brian silently unlocked his phone and dialed. It took a moment for the call to connect, and then Stewie's phone was ringing out loudly to the upbeat tune of a familiar pop song. Brian could feel the vibrations of each ring through the tablecloth as he stared on angrily.

"Answer it!" Brian hissed.  
  
"Okay, okay, my _god_ ," laughed the boy. "Helloooo?"  
  
"It's me," Brian said flatly and unimpressed. "Stewie, what is the point of this?"  
  
"I just wanna talk, Brian. B-ry. Bb."  
  
Stewie didn't look at Brian as he was talking on the phone with him, but he could imagine that Brian was looking quite nonplussed - a fact made all the more real as Brian could see the smirk crawling across Stewie's face. He didn't deserve this monster.  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine," Brian mumbled.  
  
"You never call - I didn't know if you'd been run off the road into a ditch or if your plane had crashed or _what_. I worried."

Brian felt a raw guilt gnaw at his heart. It was the responsible thing to do, he supposed; to call somebody he cared about, to let them know he was okay when he went on trips out of town.  
  
"Well, here I am."  
  
"Sooo..." Stewie cooed into the phone, "what're you wearing?"  
  
Brian rolled his eyes and muttered a sharp warning, " _Stewie_."  
  
"Oh, I know Brian, that was just a formality. Aren't you going to ask me what _I'm_ wearing?"  
  
"Fine. What're you wearing?"  
  
"Oh, y'know," Stewie played it up, "I'm just sitting here, all alone, wearing my very expensive Vuitton damier bathrobe that you got me last Christmas."  
  
"Are you."  
  
"Mmm, yes. How did you know that burgundy's my favourite colour? You know me so well" He grins. "So how does that make you feel, Brian? Does it conjure up any colourful imagery?"  
  
Brian was taken aback. He spoke directly to Stewie now, low and even, away from his phone. "Stewie, I don't think we ought to be talking like this when we're here in the kitchen."  
  
"Relax," said Stewie, for his part, still into his phone. "Lois is downstairs doing laundry. Now, you were saying?"  
  
Brian gulped. His resolve was crumbling already. "That sounds...nice."  
  
"What do you want to  _do_  to me?"  
  
Brian felt the heat rise to his face. In this formative and sensitive time of their relationship, Brian hadn't been able to bring himself to do anything other than kiss his so-called partner. Thinking about doing anything other than that made him ashamed and queasy. But right now, in this stupid game that he was playing with Stewie, he was ashamed to find that he really did want to keep going. He wanted to play to all of Stewie's questions. But...  
  
"I...want to do things to you that I can't say over the phone."  
  
This time Stewie was the one to break and talk to Brian off of the phone. "That's not how we're supposed to be doing this, Brian," he pouted.

"I, uh..." Brian pressed End on his phone, setting it down on the table as he pushed his chair away just enough to stand on it. "I'm sorry, Stewie."

Brian took Stewie's cell phone from his hand and abruptly closed the distance between himself and his young lover, sealing it with a kiss; hot and pressed hastily against the other's lips. Stewie leaned into it just as Brian pulled away.   
  
"Would you mind if I showed you what I'd like to do in person?"  
  
"No," Stewie grinned. "Go for it, dog...But it'd be more realistic if you really bought me a Vuitton damier bathrobe."  
  
Rolling his eyes, but always smirking, Brian hopped to the floor and headed for the staircase with Stewie in tow.

**Author's Note:**

> ~*YOLO no ragrets*~


End file.
